


Like The First Time

by sstensland



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, First Kiss, M/M, Movie Theater Handjobs, They're both camp counselors, bed sharing, benarmie, who have been friends forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 15:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15294867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstensland/pseuds/sstensland
Summary: Ben Solo and Armitage Hux have been best friends since they first met at summer camp eight years ago.One summer, things change.For Week 2 of the KyluxXOXO summer fest.





	Like The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> So, this initally started as "sugar, first times, friends." And then I tried being ambitious and use a different combo for each scene. And then I gave up on that. But there is at least three, I think, different variants, so idk. 
> 
> Also, I don't really know how *real* summer camps work, and, honestly, it's fiction, so I'm not worrying about it.
> 
> And, as always, much love to darthkylorevan for looking this over and listening to me bitch about it all week. <3

_i._

Lights out was hours ago. The only sounds that fill the small cabin are the gentle snores coming from the children around them and the low hum of the fans. Ben tosses and turns in the too small bed, trying to get comfortable in the heat. He looks over at where Armitage’s bed is, seeing the dim light of his cell phone illuminating his slender frame. Probably reading some textbook or novel for a class that’s months always. Hell, Ben wouldn’t have been surprised if he was reading a textbook just for fun.

Ben turns onto his back to stare at the ceiling. He throws the sheet off of him. Sweat drips down his skin. This summer is brutal; record highs already, according the meteorologists, and only aiming to get worse as the summer goes on. He is going to die.

He grabs his phone off the side table and opens the messaging app. He pulls up Armitage’s name.

**come outside w/ me**

It takes a full minute before he gets a response.

_We can’t leave the kids alone, Ben._

He rolls his eyes. **they’re sleeping no one will kno**

**it’ll be quick**

He hears Armitage sigh from his bed. The bed creaks under his slight weight, groaning in protest as he turns to face him. In the dim light, he can barely make out the features of Armitage’s face.

“Summer hasn’t even started yet, Ben, and you already want us to get in trouble,” He whispers into the air between them. Soft, careful to not wake any of the kids up.

“It’ll be ten minutes. Tops. I promise.”

Armitage sighs again in annoyance. “Fine. Ten minutes. That is it. If anything happens to the kids, it’s your ass.”

Ben holds in a laugh. “I think you’ve watched too many slasher movies, Armie. Nothing will happen.”

“Whatever you say.”

Ben doesn’t bother putting on a shirt before going outside, just slips on his sandals and heads out the door. The sea breeze that hits him when he steps outside the door is almost a relief, but the air is still too thick and swampy. He misses his Northern city, the cooler temperatures and constant relief of the humid weather. As much as he misses it, though, it’ll never be as much as he’s missed this place over the year.

Armitage in no way looks pleased when he finally steps out from the cabin. His ginger hair is still a mess from where he had it against the pillow and his long pale arms are crossed at his chest. Ben nearly dies when he sees that Armitage is wearing pajama bottoms, and not even a short variety, and has put on a hoodie.

“How are you _not_ dying? It’s fucking hot as hell out here.”

“ _Ben_ , _language._ ”

“Don’t you worry, they’re _sleeping_. They didn’t hear a thing, but you didn’t answer me.”

“I have a chill.”

“Bullshit.”

Armitage rolls his eyes before he steps away from the cabin door. “Now, what that you have me out here, what were your plans?”

“I don’t know,” he says with a shrug. “I couldn’t sleep, noticed you couldn’t either. Maybe we could go for a walk.”

“You dragged me out of bed at midnight for a _walk_?”

Ben shrugs again. He had no plan at all; he just needed to see something other than the walls around him. “Shall we?”

Armitage says nothing, but he follows Ben as he walks away from the cabin. The night is silent, calm. He relishes in the tranquil air around him. They fall into an even step as they follow one of the paths through the campground. So many years spent here wandering around, Ben feels like he could walk anywhere with his eyes closed. He wonders if Armitage feels the same way.

“Did you really just bring us to the beach?” he asks, and Ben can’t figure out if he is actually annoyed or just acting it.

He decides it doesn’t matter either way.

“I guess so.” He lets out a small laugh. “C’mon. Let’s go for a swim.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Stop being so uptight. No one will know.”

“We aren’t dressed to go swimming, and your ten minutes are almost up.”

“Who says we have to wear anything?”

Armitage just stares at him with wide, wide eyes. “I am _not_ going in naked and getting kicked out of this camp because of one of _your_ stupid ideas.”

“We won’t get caught, but fine. Swim in your underwear. No one will know, Armie. It’ll be _fun._ ” He tries to pull off his best puppy dog eyes. The ones that he learned two summer ago that Armitage couldn’t refuse. When he hears him huff, he knows he’s won and breaks out into a grin. “I swear, you won’t regret this.”

Armitage just sends him an annoyed look before turning away from him and slipping off his hoodie. Ben takes the hint and walks closer toward the water, kicking off his sandals and letting his toes sink into the cool sand. He takes in a full breath of the salty sea air and feels himself relax. This is something that he’ll never get back home. Something that he won’t get to have again after this summer. But now is not the time to think of that.

He slips off his shorts and tosses them over with his sandals. When he turns back, he spots Armitage carefully putting his folded clothes on the lifeguard post. He goes to tease his friend, but then Armitage turns to him and all the words lock in his throat.

The light from the full moon hits Armitage gracefully. He looks angelic. His limbs look longer, his skin clearer, smoother. His hair is still undone, now cascading into his face. Ben wants to reach out and move it, reveal the face trying to hide underneath. Wants to run his fingers along the long curve of his jaw, run his thumb along the sharp edge of his cheekbones. Armitage stands there, looking exactly like he had a year ago when they last parted. All skinny limbs and pale skin, self-consciously using his arms to cover his torso even though they’ve seen each other naked plenty of times.

He looks absolutely beautiful. Like he is meant to be basking in the moonlight.

All the thoughts freeze Ben. Petrify him. He’s seen Armitage every summer since they were ten. Had these thoughts always been there? Lingering under the surface and avoiding contact? Or were they new?

“Are you okay?”

Ben blinks, swallows on a dry throat, and tries to put on a confident smile. “Yeah, fine. C’mon.”

He turns back toward to the water and runs towards it. When he’s deep enough, he jumps under. His thoughts wander to territories that they should never touch. Make him wonder what Armitage thinks of _him_. His body has filled out a lot since last year. He’s spent more time working out at the gym and training with track than he had before. His hair’s grown out longer than he’s ever had it, now able to finally cover over his large ears.

He pushes the thoughts away. They’re ridiculous No reason to be thinking about that. Armitage is his _friend_. His very good friend. That is all.

He dives back underwater to focus his energy elsewhere.

When he comes back up, Armitage is next to him. Ben can see him shivering in the cold water. He considers this may have been a bad idea and almost suggests that they go back to shore so Armitage doesn’t freeze to death. But when he goes to suggest it, he comes to a halt. Armitage looks at him with some sort of contemplation, like he’s trying to place something.  Confusion settles over Ben’s features when Armitage ducks under the water.

Seconds later, he feels something grab at his legs and yelps when he’s brought under. The breath rushes out of his body as he tries to get back to the surface. When his head breaks through the water, all he can hear is the pounding of his heart and Armitage’s laugh. He catches his breath and glares over at his friend.

“You asshole.” He _wants_ to be mad at him. Wants to be upset that he just storms away. But he looks so happy. Ben hasn’t seen him laugh this hard in years.

“So worth it,” he tries to say through the laughter.

Ben doesn’t say anything. Just pushes his hair out of his face and makes a swift movement to tackling Armitage into the water.

They continue for far longer than the ten minutes Ben had said. Just continuing to wrestle each other in the water before they settle with floating next to each other and talking.

Neither one of them comments on the time or when the sun starts to rise over the horizon.

_ii._

The campfire heats his skin as he helps one of the kids roast their marshmallow. Jeremy, he thinks the kids name is. He’s one of the newest kids in their group, still a bit of an outcast in these first few weeks of summer, but he’s getting better. Ben can remember those days of being the new kid. Of being set aside by the older kids who have been here for years and already had their friends made.

By some miracle, he had been put into the same group as Armitage Hux. A new kid with a funny accent and bright red hair. Ben had been shy back then, but he worked up the nerve to say hi to the other kid always cast aside. That had been eight years ago, and they were still best friends.

He hopes that Jeremy could find someone like that. The kid is good with a kind heart. Ben is delighted when he sees one of the fellow boys, Aaron, go over to him and hand help him put together his s’more.

Ben smiles as he steps away and goes back to his spot next to Armitage. He keeps his eyes on the kids, making sure none of them burn themselves on the fire.

“You know, you’re really good with kids.”

The comments surprises him. He blinks as he looks over at Armitage, who’s still staring out at the fire and takes another careful bite of his s’more. “Yeah?”

He nods. “I’m kind of envious sometimes. They like you so much more.”

“That’s a lie. They love you, too.”

“It’s different,” he says with a shrugs, “it’s like how you have your favorite parent, you know?”

“You’re thinking too much into this.”

“Maybe so.” He just shrugs again.

They fall into a silence and Armitage takes his final bite. A bit of the marshmallow sticks to the side of his lip, and Ben tries not to stare at it. He fails. He fails so miserably that he bites down hard on his lip to stop himself from thinking.

He curses himself when Armitage looks his way. “Everything okay?”

“I, uh, yeah. You just--” he reaches his hand out “--got a little something here.” The pad of his thumb runs along the side of Armitage’s bottom lip, tugging just a bit as he wipes the sugary substance off. Butterflies shoot through his system at the contact. He can feel himself staring; his eyes never straying away from those dusty rose lips, so soft under his thumb.

He swallows around a dry throat and has never been more thankful that the kids are distracted.

Ben tries to settle himself on one emotion, but everything rushes through him. He’s never felt like this before. Definitely not to this degree where he felt every single nerve in his body become so hyper aware of Armitage next to him. And… and did Armitage scoot himself closer to him? When did that happen? Or was it him that moved closer? Was there a spark that went between the both of them at the contact? Or has Ben just been reading too many of his mother’s harlequin novels again?

He’s fully aware that he is still looking at those lips as Armitage bites at his lip. He _should_ look away. He _needs_ to. All this is going to do is creep out his best friend and that is not how he wants to spend his summer.

But when he finally brings his eyes back up, Armitage is looking right at him. A question, a curiosity, lingers in his eyes.

Ben parts his lips as he tries to find _something_ to say. Before he can, a pair of lips touch against his. Soft and gentle. They pull back far too quick, leaving Ben lost. He blinks a few times, lips still parted, as he focuses his attention on Armitage.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years,” he admits, quietly between the two of them. His gaze falls downward to where his fingers are picking at a loose thread in the hem of his shorts. “I’m sorry if I—“

“Armie.”

He’s slow to look back up at him, as if nervous he’s ruined everything. He has no idea. “Ye-yeah?”

Carefully, Ben places a hand over Armitage’s. “I think you should do it again.”

“Oh?”

Ben doesn’t wait for him. Instead he leans forward and places a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, still feeling the butterflies soar through him. Somewhere in the background he hears someone say “finally.” Probably Mitaka or Phasma. He couldn’t really care less.

Ben feels like he’s about to have the best summer of his life.

_iii._

Ben would get his revenge against Phasma soon. One of these days she will wake up in her cabin and never know what hit her. He is completely at fault for all of this, though. If he hadn’t pranked here that first night they started being counselors, this war wouldn’t still be going on. Armitage has been so kind to remind him every time. But Benjamin Organa-Solo is no quitter, and he definitely will not let someone like Phasma _win_.

Until he finds where she hid his bed, or gets a new one, though, he was in a bit of a bind.

“Please, Armie. It’s just one night, I swear.”

Armitage barely even looks up from his book. “There’s no way we’ll both fit on here.”

“You’re really just gonna let me sleep on the floor?”

“At this point, I’m thinking you deserve it.”

Ben gasps in mock horror. “You wouldn’t.”

He just shrugs and keeps his focus on his book. But Ben… Ben isn’t going to just let him get away with that. He moves and kneels down on the floor in front of his bed, his eyes pleading with Armitage.

Puppy-dog eyes, he remembers. “Please.”

“Why don’t you just ask Dopheld? I’m sure he would let you.”

“Because he’s not my…” he pauses for a moment, long enough to catch a curious glance from Armitage. He doesn’t know what they are. It’s been two weeks since that first kiss, and they haven’t talked about it. They’ve hidden away in dark corners and made out when they could, only having been caught once by another counselor who cheered them on and left them both red. But they haven’t _talked_ about it. He doesn’t know where they stand, and he has never done anything like this before. “He’s not my friend; he wouldn’t care that I’m stuck on the floor.”

“Maybe you can find another friend.”

Ben gulps and rests his head at the edge of the bed. “I don’t want to share with anyone else.”

Armitage _finally_ looks at him. He says nothing at first, and it worries Ben for just a second before he sees him putting down his book with a sigh. “Fine. But the second you start snoring, you’re on the floor.”

“Aye, aye,” he says with a grin before getting off the floor and sliding into the bed next to Armitage. The fit is tight, as they both knew it would be. But when Ben sneaks his arm around Armitage’s waist and pulls him close, it doesn’t seem all that bad.

Armitage settles against him with a content sigh. Ben presses a small kiss to the nape of his neck. “Thank you.”

“Mm, welcome. Now shush, I’m trying to sleep.”

Ben chuckles against his neck. He allows himself to relax fully, resting his head against the edge of the pillow. Armitage adjusts just a bit, resting his hand on top of Ben’s arm across his waist. This is nice, Ben thinks. This is something that he can get used to.

He presses another kiss to the back of Armitage’s head, bits of red hair tickling at his nose. He smells of smoke and the ocean. Of his unscented soap and faded, crisp cologne. He smells of everything that reminds Ben of summer and happiness. He feels calm for the first time in such a long time.

Armitage smells like _home_.

The thought comes crashing to him like a wave, drowning him. He tries not to freeze. He tries to focus on Armitage’s steady breathing, on his hand on his skin. On all the comforts that Armitage has provided him with over the years. Of all their conversations and secrets.

He nuzzles his face into the crook of Armitage’s neck and holds onto him tight, not wanting to lose this feeling. He could get used to this, and by the way Armitage squeezes his hand and stays close, he thinks he doesn’t mind either.

_iv._

Saturday nights have become Ben’s favorite part of the week. The camp arranges a group wide event for all the kids to attend and it allows Armitage and Ben to sneak away for a few hours to enjoy themselves. It was one of the few times that the two of them were able to get away from the rest of the group. They didn’t have to worry about any of the children or about going from one place to another. They were completely free to do as they pleased.

This week, they decided to see a movie.

Ben has no idea what’s going on. He lost all focus the second Armitage had leaned over and started to press soft kisses to his neck. His head tilts easily, exposing more of his neck to Armitage who eagerly accepts it. Shivers trail down his spine as his eyes slip shut, lips parting ever so slightly. Armitage’s hand reaches up and cups around the other side of Ben’s neck. His fingers card through the long, dark strands of hair. Hesitantly, he lightly tugs at the hair. Ben lets out a sharp breath of air, careful to keep his voice low.

A scream comes from the speakers, he thinks, but it doesn’t even matter anymore.

He’s careful when he moves and presses his lips against Armitage’s, hard and desperate. It doesn’t matter that they’re in a public place with others sitting in a few rows in front of them. The pool of want swirls in his lower abdomen, taunting him.

He reaches a hand up and cups it around Armitage’s neck, thumb tracing along the smooth surface of his jawline. He can feel the vibrations from Armitage’s soft groan under the palm of his hand. (He’s never been more thankful for big, recliner chairs with their wide seats, soft cushions and those armrests that can be raised up. Especially when he scoots closer to Armitage, their sides flushed together.) His other hand falls onto Armitage’s thigh, slowly, cautiously sliding up as he nips at his lips. Slides his tongue along Armitage’s bottom lip before exploring his mouth. He still tastes of fake butter and popcorn.

The hand in his hair tightens, and his pants grow but a bit too tight. Maybe they should stop; they’re in public, after all. But isn’t that the fun of all of this? The simple act of doing something you’re not supposed to with the risk of getting caught.

His heartbeat pounds in his ears as his hand slides up Armitage’s leg. He doesn’t move to stop him. Doesn’t grab Ben’s hand or pull away. Instead, his free hand trails down Ben’s chest.

Ben has no idea what he’s doing.

The group a few rows ahead of them laugh at something, but it sounds so distant. Like they’re barely even there. Armitage’s lips have pulled away from Ben’s, and moved back to his neck. They trail up the sensitive skin before latching onto his earlobe, sucking at it gently.

As if by impulse alone, Ben’s hand finishes the journey up and rubs against the swell at the front of Armitage’s jeans. There’s a small gasp in his ear before he feels the sharp scrape of teeth against his skin. Ben repeats the action, applying a bit more pressure, testing the waters. Armitage still hasn’t told him to stop. In fact, his hips guide up to press into Ben’s hand, aiding him, encouraging him.

Ben’s fingers fumble as they undo the button of his jeans. He pauses for a second to look at him. “Is this okay?” he whispers, low enough for just Armitage to hear.

He nods his head, almost frantically. Ben slides the zipper down and sneaks his hand into Armitage’s brief. The angle is awkward, and Armitage tries to help but lifting his hips up to pull the fabric of his jeans and underwear down. Ben hesitates for a second, looks around to make sure no one’s watching before his hand wraps Armitage’s cock.

Armitage moans, breathy and quiet into his ear. It sends a shiver down his spine that further ignites the fire growing in him. Ben bites down on his lip, swallowing hard. All he can think about is those lips on his skin, those fingers clenching into the front of his shirt. Think of how _hard_ Armitage feels in his hand. Of the small little strangled moans and whines and how they all sound like music to him.

He keeps the steady pace of his hand, adjusting every so often, paying attention to Armitage’s reactions. He pauses once or twice when he worries the noise is too much before resuming.

Armitage comes in his hand with a strangled breath against his ear. Ben does his best to catch what he can in his hand; he doesn’t know how successful he is. Part of him even doubts that he was at all. Armitage relaxes against the seat with a soft sigh. Ben turns his attention to him for a second. In the soft light from the screen, he can just make out the glazed look in Armitage’s eyes, the soft flush of his cheeks, the swollen lips. Ben doesn’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful; he tells him as such.

“Shit.” Armitage lets out a puff of a laugh before shoving a handful of napkins into Ben’s hand. “Clean yourself up,” he whispers in his ear when he leans forward, taking some napkins for himself and wiping what he can in the dark. “I’ll be right back.” He tucks himself back into his underwear and jeans before redoing them and heading out of the room.

Ben does his best to clean his hand off. With a shake of his head, he throws the napkins into the discarded popcorn bag and leans back into his chair. A smile lingers on his lips while he waits for Armitage to come back.  

_v._

Armitage is beautiful.

His head has fallen back in a laugh. The smile that lingers on his lips when he settles is still wide and bright. His pale green eyes still sparkle with the joy of the moment. Soft orange waves fall into his face from when the pomade in his hair washed out; he brings a hand up to brush it away. The mid afternoon sun shines in through the windows of the mess hall, highlighting the gentle pattern of light freckles that threaten to stain his skin every year.

He looks so beautiful that Ben can’t _breathe_.

Ben reaches out and places his hand on top of Armitage’s; the skin soft and warm under his hand. Armitage looks at him with the softest trace of a smile on his lips and the light still sparkling in his eyes. Butterflies flutter through him as he returns the smile.

(He’s never deserved Armitage; never thought he has. Armitage is everything that Ben had always strived to be but could never accomplish. But despite that, Armitage chose him as well.)

Armitage laces their fingers together and gives a slight squeeze.

These past two months have been the greatest moments of Ben’s life; he doesn’t want it to end. He doesn’t want the summer holidays to disappear. Doesn’t want Armitage to travel back to England. Doesn’t want to not have Armitage at his side.  They’ll still talk, maybe even Skype, but it will never be the same.

Maybe he can travel over there during his school breaks. Maybe this relationship won’t even last once they part.

They’re walking back to their cabin, watching the kids hurry along in front of them in a comfortable silence, when the thought occurs to him. Their fingers are intertwined, holding each other in a gentle hold. Every touch from Armitage brings a new wave of butterflies through his system, a new yearning just to be _close_ to him.

Ben watches as all the kids disappear into their cabin, biting at his lip before pulling Armitage to the side. He holds him close and wraps his arms around him. Armitage looks confused at first, before settling in Ben’s arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Ben smiles, soft and gentle, and presses their lips together. It’s short and chaste,  lingering only when Armitage tries to pull away. He doesn’t want this summer to end.

“We should get inside.”

“Just one more second.”

Ben leans forward again and kisses him again. His hands grip onto Armitage’s hips, holding him closer. He feels light, like he’s flying. Armitage’s fingers snake into the hair at the back of Ben’s neck,  sending a shiver down Ben’ spine. It’s moments like these where Ben feels most alive; the stolen moments that come in between all the responsibilities of the day.

He pulls back with a smile on his lips. “I love you.”

He freezes. Doesn’t realize that the words came out until after he’s said them.

His heart pounds in his chest as he chances a look at Armitage. He said it too soon; he’s ruined this.

But Armitage… Armitage doesn’t look angry or disgusted. A little surprised, maybe, but there’s a soft look on his features. Soft and gentle like the smile he’s giving Ben. A fondness, an admiration, lingers in his eyes that settles down the nerves in Ben’s body.

“What?” Armitage asks, knowing well enough that Ben knows that he’s heard him, as if he’s challenging him to say it again.

Ben gulps. “I love you.”

The smile on Armitage’s lips grow as his fingers continue to play with Ben’s hair. Maybe Ben didn’t ruin anything at all.

Armitage leans forward and kisses Ben one more time. “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> come join me over at [tumblr](http://sstensland.tumblr.com/)


End file.
